I Want... A Good Night's Sleep

Sounds simple right? HA! Not so right now. I don't know WHAT in the world is going on with me at the moment, but I cannot get a good night sleep to save my life! It doesn't help matters that my 7 year old son is having a hard time going to sleep at night and the boy who normally was begging to go to bed at 8pm is now up until 10-11pm at night. Keeping his sister up at that. UGGG. He then wakes at 4 or 5 am and wake us up and gets in our bed. That's all fine and dandy, because he manages to go back to sleep, but I don't! We only have a queen size bed. Not enough room for a family of four. But, other than his sleep issues affecting my sleep, I am also finding that I am waking up at night a lot. I have not changed anything to cause this and not quite sure what the deal is. I have actually tried to cut back on caffeine and I am not on any med's that would cause this. The only thing I can figure is right now, my nose is HORRIBLY stuffy and maybe that is keeping me up because I can't breathe. All I know is I feel like poo all day and my eyes are so heavy it is hard to resist a nap when the daycare kiddo's take theirs. So, for today, my biggest want is A Good Nights Sleep. Until then, I guess I will remain bleary eyed and tired.

I Want... Another Good Chat with My Therapist

You read it here first, if you didn't already know! I see a psychologist. Can I just say, that I think EVERYONE needs a good therapist to unload on. I have been seeing mine for about 18 years. We discussed that yesterday when I was at his office for my monthly visit. He said I was one of his favorite clients because it was comfortable to sit and chat with me. No need to be the stuffy 'ole Doc in my presence. I started seeing him when I was about 19 or so when I had my first full blown panic attack. Since then I have been on and off medication for anxiety/panic disorder/depression, and been seeing one therapist or another, depending on where I resided at the time. There is really something to be said for a no holds barred conversation with someone who doesn't judge you, esp. when you know it won't leave the confines of his office. Most that know me know I am an open book and will typically tell you anything you want to know, but this fact is still very comforting. He has helped me through some very very bad times, helped me get a sense of perspective on situations, and, although I know my family will always be there if I need them, that sometimes comes with a price. Especially when one has deep dark secrets. HA! So, after my chat with Dr. O. Yesterday, it left me longing for my next monthly visit. I was going every two weeks, but financial constraints dictate otherwise right now. Until then I guess I will have to hold those thoughts...

I Want... Money!

Sounds greedy, I know, but having been down by two in the daycare since the end of October is getting a bit hard to manage. The Finances that is. I get calls on a regular basis from people looking for their payment. Well, let me just note it here once and for all. If you are not a utility, a Doctor that I am currently seeing, or the cashier at my grocery store of choice, you are not likely to get money from me at this time. Not because I like to shirk my responsibilities or anything, but because I DON'T HAVE IT TO GIVE YOU. I know, I know, I am not the only one in this situation, but that really doesn't make me feel any better. So, rather than drag on and on about this, I will just leave my daily want at that. I need money, NOW! I accept checks, money orders, and of course, cash!

Now, its your turn. Tell me your want of the day!

I Want.... Real Snow!

So I decided to do this NaBloPoMo blog thing for February and the theme is want. Don't know that I will try to keep it updated daily, but will give it my best shot! There is plenty I WANT... Today, the topic is REAL SNOW! The kind I remember having as a child. I want that for my children to experience. The reason is this...

Saturday, Jan. 31, 2009 we had the fun of going to Stratton Farm for a free Snow Day that a local church was hosting. The story goes that a group of Guatamalan's travel around blowing snow for private parties, etc. This church, Liberty Baptist, in Appomattox, VA, hired them to blow snow on a hill on a farm so they could host this Snow Day for the area. Supposedly this is the largest they had been hired to do. They actually blew snow on two hills and even made a "play" area for the kids not wanting to sleigh ride down these hills. They used the water from the pond at the foot of the two hills. They set up heated tents, had live Praise Music, a chili and pie cook-off, and a huge bonfire. It was all FREE. These days, that is all I need to hear to get me there.

It was fun overall, though the hill was a bit too steep for my kids to really enjoy. It was fun watching people fly down the hill and barrel roll in the mud at the bottom of the hill too. It brought back lots of memories of my childhood sleigh riding down my Mom's street on ice, the kind that stayed for days, and the neighborhood bonfire in the backyards behind my house where my brother, his friends and some of the Dad's of the neighborhood got together to made a sledding track. I remember them hosing it with water to make it extra slick then rolling it with barrels to flatten it just so. Oh what fun! Ah, maybe one day we will get that snow! Until then, I will leave you with some photos from our man made Snow Day!

The big hill...

The bottom of the big hill and the pond the water came from

Harrison and Granddad were the first ones down the hill. Almost tipped over!

Chris, aka, Dad, and Maia were next! Check out the legs on Maia??!!??? How she didn't break them is beyond me!

The Toler Family all bundled up.

The "little" hill. People were flying down this hill and barrel rolling their sleds in the muck at the bottom! EeeWWWW. Very muddy, but fun!

Harrison playing snow ball fight with some other kids at the play area. See the dirty snow? We actually witnessed several kids and toddlers EATING it!!!

Maia on her large snowball where she spent the majority of the time.

Harrison hiding from his Camera clicking Mom.

My little snow bunny.

Harrison started to roll around in the snow before we left. It was funny to watch him.

Before we left, I asked Maia to give me her best silly face. This is what I got. Harrison wasn't into being photographed.

Staying Afloat in a Sinking Economy

I have had so many other things I was going to blog about in the past few weeks, but worry has gotten the best of me. I know, I know, worrying does no good, especially about things that have not happened yet, but it is what I do best. What I have always done best. It is a trait passed down to me from my mother.

The poor economy has sent me into a tailspin. So many people are losing their jobs. I have lost half of my income in the daycare business since October. That's about a $10K hit with just me alone. Chris talks of downsizing in his company. One person has already been laid off/let go. Just today, four others were reduced down from 5 days a week of work to 4 days a week. That is the plan for his company for the next 12 months and hopefully Chris's customers will keep him busy enough that he is invaluable to the company. He is one of the busier customer service/sales reps in his office. That's a good thing.

A few days ago every thought I had was consumed with what ifs. What if he were to be cut to part time hours? Well, I can tell you what if. We could possibly lose everything we own with just an 8 hour reduction in salary for him. It wouldn't be so bad if the childcare business would pick up but I have not had a single call since October. Not a single one. We are just barely making it now. Each month leaves me wondering who will get paid and who won't. Not a good feeling. Especially since I have family as cosigners on two of our loans.

Two older people stepped up at his work and offered to have their hours slashed as a result of the poor economy. I know NO ONE can really AFFORD to lose money, but these two wouldn't be hit half as hard as we would be. They are older with no children at home anymore. I want to kiss them. That was very noble of them to do that in an effort to spare others. I hope they won't be out of a 5 day week for too long.

If the economy doesn't improve, what becomes of all the people out of work and unable to pay their bills? Do they/we all become homeless, wandering the streets in search of our next meal and bed? It is a thought I don't want to have. I only hope and pray for everyones sake that things improve quickly. I hear it will only get worse. I know it has been worse in the past and now we, the 30 something generation, are facing what our parents faced so many years ago. It is scary. We have had it so good for so long. Now its time to pay the piper.

While we wait I will continue to pray that things on the Toler home front remain as is. No more lost income and if anything, maybe I will get a phone call or two for childcare. One can only hope.

You Know You've Been to a Party When...

...the cops get called and clothes start coming off! Before I go any further with that, let me just say a few things. This was a Disciples Women's Meeting for our church at a friends house, spouses and children were invited, and there were no alcoholic beverages at the event. So... what you may ask can I possible mean by that first sentence? Let me explain.

Around 5:30pm my family headed to Lisa's house for a "get together/meeting" for our Disciples Women's group. Most of the members and their families were not there since a lot of them have had or currently have that awful stomach virus that is sweeping through Lynchburg. Lisa, her hubby and two girls, and Nannette, her hubby and her three children, one being only 6 months old were in attendance. We had a great time eating and talking. Watching the kids play Wii bowling and just hanging out enjoying each others company. The children, ranging in age from 4-8, headed downstairs to the playroom. Not too long afterward, we hear a knock at the door. David answers to find a Deputy inquiring about a domestic dispute. He asks to speak to the lady of the house as well. Uh, stunned looks enter at this point. The deputy proceeds to say that a juvenile had called 911 and said that their mommy and daddy were fighting. More stunned looks at this point. Lisa asks the Deputy if he can head downstairs, David and I following closely behind. I figured my child was behind this, and being the type of Mommy I am, was ready to whip some little behinds at this point. Questions are asked, and oh, I wish I had pulled my camera out for the looks on the faces. PRICELESS. Denial is going around the room like wildfire. Finally, Maia, my never do wrong child, comes forward to say she did it by accident because she thought the phone was a toy. I must say, it was a princess phone and did look rather toy like so I could see how the mistake was made. She is cowering at my leg just shaking like a little leaf. You could smell the fear. Poor thing. I had to stifle a laugh. A. I figured the deputy would not think it funny, and B. Well, what kind of example would I be setting If I let loose with the laugh I had inside me? (It's hard being a mom sometimes and doing the right thing!)

The Deputy was really nice about the "incident", and we explained why you don't pretend to call 911 and how it takes a cop away from a "real" call. The deputy said the dispatcher called back and got a busy signal, and with all the noise the kids were making downstairs when the call was placed, it is no wonder they rushed out there. He actually said he stepped up the pace to get there. TOO FUNNY! If you knew Lisa and David (HI LISA!!!) you would know why the thought of them in a domestic dispute is just too funny for words. Drama over, kids went back to playing, Deputy probably had something interesting to talk about the rest of the evening, and adults got a real good laugh upstairs.

About an hour later, Maia and Harrison come running back up the stairs to announce that another child in attendance (names withheld to protect privacy :-) ) was taking their pants off. Parent of said child goes flying down the stairs to correct the situation. More laughs from adults.

Never in all my life did I think my children would provide me with such entertainment in such a short span of time like they did tonight. Now, Lisa is probably the talk of her neighborhood and I actually have something funny to blog about for a change! It was real Lisa! We HAVE to do it again sometimes. I bet those ladies won't miss another meeting when the realize all the fun they missed out on!!

About New Years Resolutions...

I don't typically make them, simply because, I know that I will be unable to keep them. No matter how good my intentions in the past, the ones made to lose weight, eat better, cut out coke/pepsi as my main source of hydration, etc, etc, etc., I have NEVER been able to keep ONE SINGLE RESOLUTION. This year, I may have to change that. Today, I spent the better part of my day trying to balance the checkbook. I had not TOUCHED it since sometime the beginning of October. By this I mean, I had not entered a single transaction, balanced the thing, or anything having to do with keeping track of my money. I chose to live in fantasy land where there is always plenty of money in there and that it will miraculously take care of itself for me. Well, I found out today that that didn't happen. I managed to get it balanced through the end of November and then had to stop for the day for fear that my brain would explode from looking at numbers for hours on end. Boy, do you really see the error of your ways when you are entering in all the random transactions. Ours are very heavy on the eating out end. Target is also a very very bad place for me to go unattended.

This being said, my New Years Resolution is to balance the checkbook at the very minimum, once a week, preferable Friday or Saturday. I hope I can keep this one. Maybe if I do, things will improve in our financial life in 2009.