I Suddenly Understand Myself a Whole Lot Better...

... and here's why. My whole dang family is a nut case waiting to happen!! I love them all but good grief. Give me a break already. I have been told that I was basically a disappointment for going to college to get $50K in debt for a degree that I no longer use. That I sit home on my butt all day keeping kids and that I would never be forgiven for that. Nice. I have been told to go get a job that pays better, that is more secure, that is stable, that is outside the home, etc. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Does that even exist??? Really. Show me a decent paying job that is secure in this day and age where a 6 year out of experience washed up graphic designer would be happy and I will PAY YOU to send them my resume. I don't like corporate America. I have ZERO desire to go there EVER AGAIN.

Is my job all fun and games? No. Is any job? No. Unless you are just plain crazy. I guess there are people who really love their work. I, personally, get my satisfaction from things outside of my job, no matter what that may be. My family, my kids, my friends, my free time. You know. A job is a job is a job. It pays the bills. Period. I don't know why my chosen career has been such a source of contention among my family. Did I gripe and tell my brothers what losers they would be if they didn't get a college education? NO! Do I tell my younger brother that he needs to wake up and smell the coffee and quit living the high life at home with Mom and Dad? NO. I won't divulge all our family "secrets" here, but I just had to get this off my chest.

For everyone reading this... I may be overweight, underpaid, broke most of the time and have a three year old bathroom renovation in progress, but I am overall VERY HAPPY. 97% of the time. I think that is pretty good odds myself.

I have a few gripes. I would like to see more of my friends. We see each other far too infrequently. But people get busy and life moves on. I woke up a few weeks ago and DAMN! I was 37! My friends we hung out with last night have a daughter that is almost the age we were when I first met them. Give or take a few years. I clearly remember when my Mom was the age I am now. CLEARLY. Scary. I don't have time to spend one more second of my life wondering what I could have done differently.

I make a choice 6 years ago to give up my career, temporarily or not, to stay home and be a mother. I have NEVER regretted it. It has not always been easy, financially speaking. But I raised my kids. I saw them get to where they are. I was here when they needed me. I wouldn't trade that for anything. Why is this something to have to be "forgiven" for??

As for the help that we have been given. Don't give it with strings attached. That's not cool. I have not asked for it so don't give it with strings. It's just not worth it.

I am not sorry I have disappointed the people closest to me in my life. Not my problem. I don't get what they have a problem with myself. I think I have done pretty well for myself considering I have ALWAYS held a job from the day I turned 16. Hell, sometimes i even had two and three jobs all while going to school. More than I can say for most people. My husband has always worked. He doesn't make a ton of money but he works. Two jobs. Our kids are well adjusted and happy. They know they are loved and can count on us, as their parents to be there. Isn't that how success should be measured? My true friends love me rich or poor. They are there when I need them and they know who they are. I am thankful for you all.

As for me, I understand why I am the way I am now. I kinda like me. As for forgiveness for my shortcomings? I don't want it or need it.

Losing my Religion

I received an email this evening from a fellow member of my church that really really disturbed me. Before I go into a tirade, I am a Christian, but my church going has just started to really be a major thing in my life. There is always so much drama in the church that it has, at times, but a very bad taste in my mouth for those who say they are Christian and attend my church. I have been a member of this particular church since I was born, and I was married there, my husband transfered membership to this church, and both my children were dedicated in this church and will hopefully be baptised there when the time is right for them. The events that have gone on as of late are really not that much different that what has happened in the past. The major thing for me is that our Minister is one of the primary reasons Chris and I have become so active in our church in the past few years. Let me back up...

A few months ago, accusations were made against the minister that were eventually investigated by the police and found to be totally untrue. The women who brought forth these charges were asked to leave the church and never come back. It was ordered by the courts. He (the minister) held strong and had supporters and those who did not support him. If you could meet this man and his young family it would make sense why this is crazy. He has brought so much to our church, which, up until his time, was filled with older generation church members. Not too many young families and children/teens were members or active in church life. The turn around in our church has been amazing under his leadership. He gave me the desire to learn more, to know more, to be more involved in the church, to be part of something larger than myself and life itself. Now, it seems another group of people has started to stir the pot again and the minister has accepted a job at a church in Texas. He will be leaving soon. I am sick and sad and angry. I would like to see any one of these people lead this church. They have not liked the fact that he has brought the church to where it is, that there are young families involved, that the music is not all traditional, but they have incorporated praise music complete with drum kit and electronic keyboard. GASP!!! Welcome to 2008. Don't like it? Too loud? Turn your hearing aid off. Better yet, Lynchburg is full of churches. Find a new one. Leave my church alone. We don't need you and your negativity. These people are Christian?? Whatever. How can they be? Christians don't do that to one another, at least not in my book.

I know it is too late to do much about what has happened. I am just sad to hear that people are so mean. The man is a man after all, not a saint. He can only take so much. He has a family to protect. Before he leaves, he will know what he has done for me though. I only hope I can find the strength to continue on at this church. Here is a quote that just seemed to fit what I am feeling right now. I need to take it to heart...

"When you come to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: Either you will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly."- Edward Teller

User Error...

Ok, so that last post?? I had a ton of photos to include, as I alway do, and somehow (user error) I managed to delete the photos in the middle of all the drama with my car. I am SOOOOOOOO MADDDDDD that I did that. Oh well. I guess there is a first time for everything. You will just have to use your imagination on that one. The best was of Harrison eating S'Mores. He was COVERED in marshmellows.

What a Way to Start the Morning...

Monday morning, I woke up to find this...

Needless to say, I called the cops. They filed a report. They informed me that they had already had four calls that morning, same damage, nothing stolen. Looks like someone had a little fun at other's expense Sunday night. Why are people so mean?? Do they not realize (i guess they just don't care) that it is a huge inconvience to have to deal with this kind of thing, not to mention the money involved. Thank god I have a low $100 deductible for this kind of damage. Did I mention that last week someone broke into my car and stole a bunch of my favorite CD's?? In the five years we have lived here, I have had this happen to my car five different times. Anything from items stolen out to the side mirror being knocked off, to nails and other items in tires. A hazard of street parking to say the least. Just kinda sucks. Not a way to start a Monday morning, that's for sure!!

How to NOT be a good neighbor

So, the feud between neighbors is on! The boat issue is dead once and for all I hope, but it came with a lot of effort and feuding between several of us. Last weekend, I ended up calling the police because he parked the boat smack in front of my house again, leaving me nowhere to park. His wife had the audacity to smirk at me while I was PMSing. Not a wise choice on her part. Long story short, cops were called and went to visit him asking him to move the boat. He pushed it down in between my house and the house beside me, which was ok with me and the other neighbor. He had been told by my neighbor that was a good place and neither one of us would mind it being there. Remember, this guy also has 4 work vehicles that park on the street on either side, a trailer on the side street, and a defunct van that parks in the back alley, totally blocking access.

Today, my neighbor tells us that the proverbial poopy has hit the fan and they had an all out feud about the boat, words and looks were exchanged and he basically told him that all of his neighbors were sick and tired of his crap and that it broke zoning laws and to MOVE IT once and for all. He took it to his parents house, where it use to reside before all of this anyway. The nerve. You just can't take the "red" out of some people I suppose. He needs a lesson on how to be a good neighbor. We will probably all have our tires slit tomorrow morning.

Street Parking Etiquette

So, every house we have owned has come with street parking. No driveway, just the street. When we first bought our starter home, Chris and I had to learn the hard way that there is a certain etiquette that comes with the need to park your vehicle on the street in front of your house. Basically, the area in front of your propery is yours. Off limits to anyone else unless it is a friend/relative/whatever that is visiting your property. Areas in between properties is fair game, and once it has been established that there is a "free area" of space where no one parks on a regular basis, that too, is fair game.

Last night I arrive home at approximately 10pm to find a big big boat on a trailer parked smack dab in front of my house. Where my van ALWAYS parks. Go figure. The owner of this boat has a house three down from mine on the same side of the street that also happens to have a HUGE private driveway. This neighbor also runs a business from home and has his work vans parked all over the street as well. I have already had to ask him to move these vehicles in the past. He also blocks up a good portion of the access road/alley behind the houses on my side of the street. I am not sure, but I think the city would have a problem with that one. He currently parks a flat bed pull behind type thingie on the street that runs perpendicular to our street. I can't figure out WHY he thinks it is a good idea to leave his boat in front of my house?? RUDE?? Yeah! Right now, I have pulled my van up as close as I can get without touching the blades on the motor. We have been advised to park Chris's car as close to the front as we can get. Mind you, I have parents that drop off and pick up their kids and need somewhere to stop their car. Right now, there is no where for them to stop that is close to my house.

Chris and I have said this guy needs to move it to the country. He has far to many toys and cars that occupy a city street. Did I mention the three wheelers?? Am I passive aggressive? You bet your arse. My hope is that once we get our cars in place, he will want to get his boat out. That will teach him a lesson.