My family is struggling right now. After closing my childcare business of 6 years 2 months ago, I am still looking for full time employment and not finding it ANYWHERE!! I have been lucky enough to find two part time jobs... First at Kroger, which only lasted about 2 months, and currently at Target. I love it there. It is the first place I have actually worked that I feel appreciated for my contribution and the team building is phenomenal to say the least. OK, back to my point.
After months of financial struggles that show no sign up letting up anytime soon, having to depend on parents to provide your basic necessities, and begging for mercy to Social Services (of course we make about $100 too much a month to qualify for any assistance) I am trying to realize that others have it much worse than we do. We DO have a house, and clothing and food. We are lucky enough to be blessed with good health and jobs. Tonight, my kids and I watched the Operation Christmas Child video on Samaritan's Purse website. Our church is filling shoe boxes for this and we went to Target to get some items to donate. I wanted my kids to pick them out and then wanted them to see where the things would be going to so they would realize these are kids, just like them. They were very excited about their items going to one of the many kids that are in need around the world. Harrison and Maia need to see that other kids have NOTHING and that they have it really good, despite what they will lack this Holiday Season. With tight times, there will not be much under our tree this year, and that's OK.
This is a hard lesson to learn when you are use to having things you want and need without much thought to the cost. It is one that I am learning daily. Despite what I don't have, I actually DO HAVE quite a bit. In some ways, I would like to think that I am quite rich. I have great kids, a great husband, a great family and friends and I am healthy and able to work. I have a house, food, water, heat and clothing. I hope that I am able to share this in the coming months with my kids and really teach them the meaning of the Season.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Beginning of the End...
So, after 6 long years in the childcare business I am having to close my doors and move on. I have mixed feelings about this. Let me explain...
I have a degree in Graphic Design. For many years I worked happily in the field for a variety of companies. Then the kids came along. I stuck it out for 18 months after Harrison was born but was quite miserable after a while, missing my baby while working for a boss that I didn't get along with all the time. Things got increasingly difficult when I became pregnant with Maia when Harrison was only 9 months old. I developed pre-eclampsia and was taken out of work. I made a decision then to quit my job and raise my two children. I took three months off with Maia and then went back to work for one month until I could get all my ducks in a row.
I developed a information packet of sorts for a childcare business and started getting my name out there. I was able to find kids to keep in my home and quit my design job when Maia was 3 months old. I never looked back. It has been a crazy 6 years. Full of ups and downs, highs and lows in the business. Crazy parents and GREAT parents. I have learned a lot about myself, my kids, other kids and what I am able to tolerate.
I am pretty sure the lagging economy is to blame for my lack of phone calls, but who can say for sure. Maybe God has a bigger plan for me and that is why this is all happening. About a week ago, I learned that Jenna, who I have had since she was 12 weeks old (she is now 2) will be going to a more organized preschool. I kind of expected it. Some people do choose to put their kids in a school setting very early, though I am not a fan of it. This kind of sealed the deal for me. I have not had phone calls for childcare in quite a while and other people I know in the business are also hurting for kids to keep. With my family already struggling quite a bit, it became VERY CLEAR what would have to happen.
I have had 6 good years at home with my kids. For that I am very Grateful. Those are years that I would NEVER be able to get back and though not all the times were good and I definitely lost a TON of potential income, it was all well worth it to see my kids thru the early developmental years. They are now going into 1st and 2nd grades.
So, the job search begins. It is scary for me. I have been home for 6 years working with children. I have learned patience galore. I have become the master multi-tasker. I am a jack of all trades. I know I have skills, but when certain skill sets lay dormant for so long you have to wonder how they will come back to you. I feel like a fish out of water. Out of my comfort zone. YET, I am excited at the same time. Mostly, right now, I am very nervous about where my next paycheck will come from and just how low my family will sink into financial despair before we are able to pull ourselves back up from it.
There is a new career for me out there somewhere. I am on a quest to find it... Relying heavily on my faith...shutting no doors that are open to me. I am in contact with people from my past again and I have to wonder if there is a reason for it. I have not sought these people out. They have found me. Or we have found each other. Gods hand at work? I would like to think so. Some of these people have some very high up positions or are very well connected. I will try to put the patience I have learned over the 6 years to work for me now. It will take all I have to get thru the next few weeks. Stay tuned...
I have a degree in Graphic Design. For many years I worked happily in the field for a variety of companies. Then the kids came along. I stuck it out for 18 months after Harrison was born but was quite miserable after a while, missing my baby while working for a boss that I didn't get along with all the time. Things got increasingly difficult when I became pregnant with Maia when Harrison was only 9 months old. I developed pre-eclampsia and was taken out of work. I made a decision then to quit my job and raise my two children. I took three months off with Maia and then went back to work for one month until I could get all my ducks in a row.
I developed a information packet of sorts for a childcare business and started getting my name out there. I was able to find kids to keep in my home and quit my design job when Maia was 3 months old. I never looked back. It has been a crazy 6 years. Full of ups and downs, highs and lows in the business. Crazy parents and GREAT parents. I have learned a lot about myself, my kids, other kids and what I am able to tolerate.
I am pretty sure the lagging economy is to blame for my lack of phone calls, but who can say for sure. Maybe God has a bigger plan for me and that is why this is all happening. About a week ago, I learned that Jenna, who I have had since she was 12 weeks old (she is now 2) will be going to a more organized preschool. I kind of expected it. Some people do choose to put their kids in a school setting very early, though I am not a fan of it. This kind of sealed the deal for me. I have not had phone calls for childcare in quite a while and other people I know in the business are also hurting for kids to keep. With my family already struggling quite a bit, it became VERY CLEAR what would have to happen.
I have had 6 good years at home with my kids. For that I am very Grateful. Those are years that I would NEVER be able to get back and though not all the times were good and I definitely lost a TON of potential income, it was all well worth it to see my kids thru the early developmental years. They are now going into 1st and 2nd grades.
So, the job search begins. It is scary for me. I have been home for 6 years working with children. I have learned patience galore. I have become the master multi-tasker. I am a jack of all trades. I know I have skills, but when certain skill sets lay dormant for so long you have to wonder how they will come back to you. I feel like a fish out of water. Out of my comfort zone. YET, I am excited at the same time. Mostly, right now, I am very nervous about where my next paycheck will come from and just how low my family will sink into financial despair before we are able to pull ourselves back up from it.
There is a new career for me out there somewhere. I am on a quest to find it... Relying heavily on my faith...shutting no doors that are open to me. I am in contact with people from my past again and I have to wonder if there is a reason for it. I have not sought these people out. They have found me. Or we have found each other. Gods hand at work? I would like to think so. Some of these people have some very high up positions or are very well connected. I will try to put the patience I have learned over the 6 years to work for me now. It will take all I have to get thru the next few weeks. Stay tuned...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Moments of Sweetness
They are very short lived, those little moments that make you tear up with an unparalleled joy that makes your heart just burst with pride! I had one of those moments last night. As I was putting the kids to bed (they both sleep in Maia's room), Harrison went and got his youth Bible and I found him and Maia laying in her bed and he was reading it to her. I almost wept. So sweet. I just HAD to get a photo of this moment before it was gone. Photo quality is not all that great, but I had to act quickly. Like I said, these moments come and go very quickly!
Pet Torture
Maia and Harrison have been at Church Day camp all week. Tuesday, they came home with little hats they had made for Louie and Max. Surprisingly, the cats were very cooperative while they were being held down to have the hats put on their heads. I didn't get a photo of Max; Maia never got it on his head. Harrison did manage to get the hat, complete with chin strap, on Louie. He looks REAL amused, doesn't he?? 
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The Art of Being Busy
I just read a great article shared with me by a facebook friend. Take a look. I know a bunch of Moms this applies too. I have often wondered how they keep up. They make me feel inferior. They are the Moms that are always involved in something; school, charity, church, sports, friends, dating their husband, being the best mom, soccer mom. Do I really need to continue? On top of all that they bake, cook, clean, sew, do crafts and have an immaculate house to boot. Some of these women are some of my best friends. If you are reading this, you know who you are. Don't take this the wrong way. I do not hold it against you. You amaze me. BUT this article really does get to the heart of the matter.
I work from home running a daycare. I think most people think that because I stay home, oh, excuse me, sit at home all day doing nothing, that I should be able to have a neat and tidy house. That dinner should be ready, clothes and dishes should be washed and put away, etc. I do manage to "manage" all the appointments, but bills sometimes get overlooked in the mix of everything else I have to do. Yes, I am a busy Mom too. But I can promise that I am not trying to compete with other supermoms out there who seem to be able to do it all with grace. Most days, I'm doing good to get a shower and put on decent clothes by dinner time. I am slowly learning how to say "no" when asked to do/participate in/take part of/attend something that I just don't feel compelled to do. Sometimes, it really is because I have other plans, but more than not, it is just because I can't take one more thing on me that is not something that I am not 100% wanting to do. I have had to bow out of Relay for Life events this spring, I have missed parties and other events, church activities and the like that I just am not into whole-hearted. If I can't do it joyfully, I would just rather not do it at all.
I do hear alot of other Moms saying how busy they are. You ask to have lunch with someone (I am not really speaking of any particular incident), just hang out with someone, meet someone for drinks/shopping/a movie, and you get "oh, if I weren't so busy doing X, Y, and Z then I would love too. Sometimes I wonder if we have really moved away from the simple life and are trying to outdo each other as Mothers, like the article states. Everyone is trying to keep up with the next person who seems to have it all together. I can PROMISE you that there are not many people out there trying to keep up with me. I have looked at these women and asked myself how they manage to do and have it all. Do they really really want to be that way? Are they in some sort of competition with the next person? Are they REALLY happy being this way and doing that much?
I would love to hear other thoughts on this, if you are not to busy to drop me a line!
I work from home running a daycare. I think most people think that because I stay home, oh, excuse me, sit at home all day doing nothing, that I should be able to have a neat and tidy house. That dinner should be ready, clothes and dishes should be washed and put away, etc. I do manage to "manage" all the appointments, but bills sometimes get overlooked in the mix of everything else I have to do. Yes, I am a busy Mom too. But I can promise that I am not trying to compete with other supermoms out there who seem to be able to do it all with grace. Most days, I'm doing good to get a shower and put on decent clothes by dinner time. I am slowly learning how to say "no" when asked to do/participate in/take part of/attend something that I just don't feel compelled to do. Sometimes, it really is because I have other plans, but more than not, it is just because I can't take one more thing on me that is not something that I am not 100% wanting to do. I have had to bow out of Relay for Life events this spring, I have missed parties and other events, church activities and the like that I just am not into whole-hearted. If I can't do it joyfully, I would just rather not do it at all.
I do hear alot of other Moms saying how busy they are. You ask to have lunch with someone (I am not really speaking of any particular incident), just hang out with someone, meet someone for drinks/shopping/a movie, and you get "oh, if I weren't so busy doing X, Y, and Z then I would love too. Sometimes I wonder if we have really moved away from the simple life and are trying to outdo each other as Mothers, like the article states. Everyone is trying to keep up with the next person who seems to have it all together. I can PROMISE you that there are not many people out there trying to keep up with me. I have looked at these women and asked myself how they manage to do and have it all. Do they really really want to be that way? Are they in some sort of competition with the next person? Are they REALLY happy being this way and doing that much?
I would love to hear other thoughts on this, if you are not to busy to drop me a line!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I Suddenly Understand Myself a Whole Lot Better...
... and here's why. My whole dang family is a nut case waiting to happen!! I love them all but good grief. Give me a break already. I have been told that I was basically a disappointment for going to college to get $50K in debt for a degree that I no longer use. That I sit home on my butt all day keeping kids and that I would never be forgiven for that. Nice. I have been told to go get a job that pays better, that is more secure, that is stable, that is outside the home, etc. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Does that even exist??? Really. Show me a decent paying job that is secure in this day and age where a 6 year out of experience washed up graphic designer would be happy and I will PAY YOU to send them my resume. I don't like corporate America. I have ZERO desire to go there EVER AGAIN.
Is my job all fun and games? No. Is any job? No. Unless you are just plain crazy. I guess there are people who really love their work. I, personally, get my satisfaction from things outside of my job, no matter what that may be. My family, my kids, my friends, my free time. You know. A job is a job is a job. It pays the bills. Period. I don't know why my chosen career has been such a source of contention among my family. Did I gripe and tell my brothers what losers they would be if they didn't get a college education? NO! Do I tell my younger brother that he needs to wake up and smell the coffee and quit living the high life at home with Mom and Dad? NO. I won't divulge all our family "secrets" here, but I just had to get this off my chest.
For everyone reading this... I may be overweight, underpaid, broke most of the time and have a three year old bathroom renovation in progress, but I am overall VERY HAPPY. 97% of the time. I think that is pretty good odds myself.
I have a few gripes. I would like to see more of my friends. We see each other far too infrequently. But people get busy and life moves on. I woke up a few weeks ago and DAMN! I was 37! My friends we hung out with last night have a daughter that is almost the age we were when I first met them. Give or take a few years. I clearly remember when my Mom was the age I am now. CLEARLY. Scary. I don't have time to spend one more second of my life wondering what I could have done differently.
I make a choice 6 years ago to give up my career, temporarily or not, to stay home and be a mother. I have NEVER regretted it. It has not always been easy, financially speaking. But I raised my kids. I saw them get to where they are. I was here when they needed me. I wouldn't trade that for anything. Why is this something to have to be "forgiven" for??
As for the help that we have been given. Don't give it with strings attached. That's not cool. I have not asked for it so don't give it with strings. It's just not worth it.
I am not sorry I have disappointed the people closest to me in my life. Not my problem. I don't get what they have a problem with myself. I think I have done pretty well for myself considering I have ALWAYS held a job from the day I turned 16. Hell, sometimes i even had two and three jobs all while going to school. More than I can say for most people. My husband has always worked. He doesn't make a ton of money but he works. Two jobs. Our kids are well adjusted and happy. They know they are loved and can count on us, as their parents to be there. Isn't that how success should be measured? My true friends love me rich or poor. They are there when I need them and they know who they are. I am thankful for you all.
As for me, I understand why I am the way I am now. I kinda like me. As for forgiveness for my shortcomings? I don't want it or need it.
Is my job all fun and games? No. Is any job? No. Unless you are just plain crazy. I guess there are people who really love their work. I, personally, get my satisfaction from things outside of my job, no matter what that may be. My family, my kids, my friends, my free time. You know. A job is a job is a job. It pays the bills. Period. I don't know why my chosen career has been such a source of contention among my family. Did I gripe and tell my brothers what losers they would be if they didn't get a college education? NO! Do I tell my younger brother that he needs to wake up and smell the coffee and quit living the high life at home with Mom and Dad? NO. I won't divulge all our family "secrets" here, but I just had to get this off my chest.
For everyone reading this... I may be overweight, underpaid, broke most of the time and have a three year old bathroom renovation in progress, but I am overall VERY HAPPY. 97% of the time. I think that is pretty good odds myself.
I have a few gripes. I would like to see more of my friends. We see each other far too infrequently. But people get busy and life moves on. I woke up a few weeks ago and DAMN! I was 37! My friends we hung out with last night have a daughter that is almost the age we were when I first met them. Give or take a few years. I clearly remember when my Mom was the age I am now. CLEARLY. Scary. I don't have time to spend one more second of my life wondering what I could have done differently.
I make a choice 6 years ago to give up my career, temporarily or not, to stay home and be a mother. I have NEVER regretted it. It has not always been easy, financially speaking. But I raised my kids. I saw them get to where they are. I was here when they needed me. I wouldn't trade that for anything. Why is this something to have to be "forgiven" for??
As for the help that we have been given. Don't give it with strings attached. That's not cool. I have not asked for it so don't give it with strings. It's just not worth it.
I am not sorry I have disappointed the people closest to me in my life. Not my problem. I don't get what they have a problem with myself. I think I have done pretty well for myself considering I have ALWAYS held a job from the day I turned 16. Hell, sometimes i even had two and three jobs all while going to school. More than I can say for most people. My husband has always worked. He doesn't make a ton of money but he works. Two jobs. Our kids are well adjusted and happy. They know they are loved and can count on us, as their parents to be there. Isn't that how success should be measured? My true friends love me rich or poor. They are there when I need them and they know who they are. I am thankful for you all.
As for me, I understand why I am the way I am now. I kinda like me. As for forgiveness for my shortcomings? I don't want it or need it.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Build A Bear Fun
Maia's Daisy Troop went to Chuck E Cheese and Build a Bear last weekend. It was how they chose to spend their cookie sale profits. Well, at least some of it. The rest will remain in the account for next year. Here are some photos from the day.
picking outfits for the dog and bunny. I really really wish I had been the inventor of this store! The stinking underwear for the bunny cost me $3.50!! He's laughing all the way to the bank!!!
Doing the dance they do when you put the heart in the animal.
Chuck-E-Cheese with funny mouse mouth cups. These cracked me up!
Boy, we had fun but I am soooooo glad we don't have one of these in town or we would be broke!
Maia eating her dippin dots. She loves these! Again, I am soooo glad we don't have this place in our hometown!
picking outfits for the dog and bunny. I really really wish I had been the inventor of this store! The stinking underwear for the bunny cost me $3.50!! He's laughing all the way to the bank!!!Doing the dance they do when you put the heart in the animal.Maia giving her bunny a good scrub down and brushing.
Three girls with their creations.
Boy, we had fun but I am soooooo glad we don't have one of these in town or we would be broke!Maia eating her dippin dots. She loves these! Again, I am soooo glad we don't have this place in our hometown!
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