Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I Want...A Big Stick to Smack That Woman of 14 With

OK, I don't normally like to be overly hostile on my blog, but the story that is on the news right now about the woman who gave birth to 8 and already had 6 kids really burns me up. First off, she is SINGLE. I am all about a single mom doing it solo. That's cool. But single, unemployed, living with her mom and dad in a 3 bedroom house and 3 of the 6 kids are disabled and collect disability?? COME ON! The doctor should be held accountable, she should be evaluated by a good therapist and her parents need to put their foot down and make her take responsibility for her life. Social services should DEFINITELY intervene here. What kind of life will all those innocent children have? She was irresponsible, selfish and just plain stupid to have that many kids. She has no way to care for them. Taxpayers are paying the price for her stupidity. She collects over $400 in food stamps a month. That is more than my ENTIRE grocery bill for the month. Who pays for that? We do. The taxpayers. Is she hoping someone will step up like they do for so many of the multiple birth cases and give her handouts? Well, they might, because we are talking about innocent children. I think she should be locked up. I can't even stand to watch it on the news. It gets my blood boiling. OK, off the soap box now. Gotta go to bed. Just had to get that off my chest.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

I Want... A Do Over

As in a weekend do over. Another Saturday, another Sunday, filled with absolutely NOTHING. Seems as if the older my kids get the busier I get, running here and there. It is exhausting. No wonder my house looks the way it does. I am never home to take care of business when I am in the mood to do it. Oh well. They are only little once, right? I guess I may as well kick back and try to enjoy every last moment of the insanity before it is gone.

On that note, I also wouldn't mind a do over with my babies in their baby days. Looking at some old photo albums tonight really brought home how fast my babies are growing up. The sweet smell of them and the total dependency on me. I miss it. They grow up too fast. I would cherish all the sleepless nights and just hold them close. I would relish every new thing they discovered and all the firsts. I missed so much with Harrison because I was working. It seems as if I blinked and he was a toddler, now a young boy in school. I am trying to stop now and really enjoy them, but when they act up it is hard to not wish it away. I know in another few years I will also be wanting a do over of this age, even though it is hard at times to deal with behavior and all the craziness. I lay in bed with Maia last night and just snuggled her and stroked her cheek because she was having a hard time going to sleep. There was no place I would have rather been at that moment either. Harrison also had a hard time and wanted me to crawl in bed with him at 8pm. I did. I found a good movie on and just had a chill night. I am sure there won't be many more of those moments. I am going to try to stop in my tracks at times and really enjoy those special times before they are gone. We all know we don't get a "do over". What will you do to make these times last just a little bit longer??

Friday, February 6, 2009

I Want...A Magic Wand

Yep, you should have seen it coming. I want a magic wand. I could really do some stuff with one of those. I wouldn't do anything crazy but I would make my student loans disappear, pad the bank account just a bit, cure any illness in my family or family of close friends, and give my house a good once over to make it the way I dreamed it could be when we bought it almost 6 years ago. I would also restore this messed up economy and get jobs back to people who need them. I would get Chris a new car, for a change. He always gets the bum deal in the car department. I would hook my van up with an alignment so I don't wear out the new tires I got this past summer. I would give my mom the larger kitchen she has always wanted. So much I could do to help others and us too. But, alas, I don't have a magic wand, and don't think that I will ever get one, so I might as well get over that crazy fantasy and just keep on truckin'.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

I Want...The Ability to Know the Right Thing to do and Say in a Given Situation.

I have had several times this week where if I had someone instructing me on the right thing to say and/or do in certain situations, the end result may have been different. Mostly, these situations revolve around my children. For example, when my 7 year old is up until midnight and is basically wanting me to go get in my bed with him when all I want to do is take care of my business that I don't get to during the day. Would it have made a difference if I had put aside what I was doing to climb in bed with him at 9pm? Maybe so, maybe not. Hard to say. He may have gone to bed before midnight, but what lesson does that teach him? Running a daycare, I have very little time that I can sit and do exactly what I am doing now. The evening is MY TIME to have a little adult time and kick back and relax and not worry about the little people in my life that should be sleeping. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE to cuddle with my kids. BUT this is something we have been dealing with with him for some time now. It gets old real quick. I feel manipulated in a way. This also holds true for his general behavior at times. It gets hard to know what to do when they are acting out. Parenting is rough, people! ROUGH!

The other situation that came up is a friend in need. I wish I knew what to say to someone who is obviously distraught over a situation and calls in tears. I NEVER seem to know how to handle this, other than to just listen. It breaks my heart that there is NOTHING I can do to help the person on the other end of the phone (it was a phone call I got late one evening). I feel so helpless in this kind of situation. I want a magic want to fix things up just so! Oh wait! That can be another want for another day!!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I Want... A Good Night's Sleep

Sounds simple right? HA! Not so right now. I don't know WHAT in the world is going on with me at the moment, but I cannot get a good night sleep to save my life! It doesn't help matters that my 7 year old son is having a hard time going to sleep at night and the boy who normally was begging to go to bed at 8pm is now up until 10-11pm at night. Keeping his sister up at that. UGGG. He then wakes at 4 or 5 am and wake us up and gets in our bed. That's all fine and dandy, because he manages to go back to sleep, but I don't! We only have a queen size bed. Not enough room for a family of four. But, other than his sleep issues affecting my sleep, I am also finding that I am waking up at night a lot. I have not changed anything to cause this and not quite sure what the deal is. I have actually tried to cut back on caffeine and I am not on any med's that would cause this. The only thing I can figure is right now, my nose is HORRIBLY stuffy and maybe that is keeping me up because I can't breathe. All I know is I feel like poo all day and my eyes are so heavy it is hard to resist a nap when the daycare kiddo's take theirs. So, for today, my biggest want is A Good Nights Sleep. Until then, I guess I will remain bleary eyed and tired.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I Want... Another Good Chat with My Therapist

You read it here first, if you didn't already know! I see a psychologist. Can I just say, that I think EVERYONE needs a good therapist to unload on. I have been seeing mine for about 18 years. We discussed that yesterday when I was at his office for my monthly visit. He said I was one of his favorite clients because it was comfortable to sit and chat with me. No need to be the stuffy 'ole Doc in my presence. I started seeing him when I was about 19 or so when I had my first full blown panic attack. Since then I have been on and off medication for anxiety/panic disorder/depression, and been seeing one therapist or another, depending on where I resided at the time. There is really something to be said for a no holds barred conversation with someone who doesn't judge you, esp. when you know it won't leave the confines of his office. Most that know me know I am an open book and will typically tell you anything you want to know, but this fact is still very comforting. He has helped me through some very very bad times, helped me get a sense of perspective on situations, and, although I know my family will always be there if I need them, that sometimes comes with a price. Especially when one has deep dark secrets. HA! So, after my chat with Dr. O. Yesterday, it left me longing for my next monthly visit. I was going every two weeks, but financial constraints dictate otherwise right now. Until then I guess I will have to hold those thoughts...

Monday, February 2, 2009

I Want... Money!

Sounds greedy, I know, but having been down by two in the daycare since the end of October is getting a bit hard to manage. The Finances that is. I get calls on a regular basis from people looking for their payment. Well, let me just note it here once and for all. If you are not a utility, a Doctor that I am currently seeing, or the cashier at my grocery store of choice, you are not likely to get money from me at this time. Not because I like to shirk my responsibilities or anything, but because I DON'T HAVE IT TO GIVE YOU. I know, I know, I am not the only one in this situation, but that really doesn't make me feel any better. So, rather than drag on and on about this, I will just leave my daily want at that. I need money, NOW! I accept checks, money orders, and of course, cash!

Now, its your turn. Tell me your want of the day!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I Want.... Real Snow!

So I decided to do this NaBloPoMo blog thing for February and the theme is want. Don't know that I will try to keep it updated daily, but will give it my best shot! There is plenty I WANT... Today, the topic is REAL SNOW! The kind I remember having as a child. I want that for my children to experience. The reason is this...

Saturday, Jan. 31, 2009 we had the fun of going to Stratton Farm for a free Snow Day that a local church was hosting. The story goes that a group of Guatamalan's travel around blowing snow for private parties, etc. This church, Liberty Baptist, in Appomattox, VA, hired them to blow snow on a hill on a farm so they could host this Snow Day for the area. Supposedly this is the largest they had been hired to do. They actually blew snow on two hills and even made a "play" area for the kids not wanting to sleigh ride down these hills. They used the water from the pond at the foot of the two hills. They set up heated tents, had live Praise Music, a chili and pie cook-off, and a huge bonfire. It was all FREE. These days, that is all I need to hear to get me there.

It was fun overall, though the hill was a bit too steep for my kids to really enjoy. It was fun watching people fly down the hill and barrel roll in the mud at the bottom of the hill too. It brought back lots of memories of my childhood sleigh riding down my Mom's street on ice, the kind that stayed for days, and the neighborhood bonfire in the backyards behind my house where my brother, his friends and some of the Dad's of the neighborhood got together to made a sledding track. I remember them hosing it with water to make it extra slick then rolling it with barrels to flatten it just so. Oh what fun! Ah, maybe one day we will get that snow! Until then, I will leave you with some photos from our man made Snow Day!

The big hill...

The bottom of the big hill and the pond the water came from

Harrison and Granddad were the first ones down the hill. Almost tipped over!

Chris, aka, Dad, and Maia were next! Check out the legs on Maia??!!??? How she didn't break them is beyond me!

The Toler Family all bundled up.

The "little" hill. People were flying down this hill and barrel rolling their sleds in the muck at the bottom! EeeWWWW. Very muddy, but fun!

Harrison playing snow ball fight with some other kids at the play area. See the dirty snow? We actually witnessed several kids and toddlers EATING it!!!

Maia on her large snowball where she spent the majority of the time.

Harrison hiding from his Camera clicking Mom.

My little snow bunny.

Harrison started to roll around in the snow before we left. It was funny to watch him.

Before we left, I asked Maia to give me her best silly face. This is what I got. Harrison wasn't into being photographed.