Tuesday, October 28, 2008

WARNING - Children May Cause Premature Aging

Warning!!! If you have a SMALL child, say under the age of 2, you may want to stop reading here. That being said, I have had one HELL of a time with my son lately. Almost 7, he has picked up some very bad habits that I am not real proud to write about in a blog for people to read. But, I need to vent, so here it goes.

He has been having trouble in school. Trouble focusing. Lets start there. Give him something he enjoys (science, math, art, music) he is golden. No issues out of the ordinary. Reading, which he has had some trouble with, but quickly improving, is a different subject all together. The boy just simply checks out. Leaves planet earth. I understand that it is normal for them to do this for things that give them trouble, as a way of shutting it out. BUT, the question lies in how do you fix the problem?? He is in several intervention type of programs and I have seen dramatic improvement in this area but he still seems to have trouble focusing and staying "checked in" during certain parts of school. He is also making some bad choices overall in school, resulting in a moved puzzle piece down the discipline board. Four spots yesterday and two today. I got a note home both days and demanded an explanation as to what he did to get it moved and then asked how he could have made a better choice. He didn't have a clue. He simply said, he got in trouble. End of subject. Said he didn't do a thing. OOOOKAAAAAY. Yesterday, he actually looked possessed when I punished him and said he was so mad he just wanted to bite me. He hit at me and cursed me. Try as I might, I could NOT get that bar of soap in his mouth without fear of breaking his jaw or getting bit by him. He got a spanking. (All those who don't approve of spanking, keep your comments to yourself). I am just not sure where to go from here. I have discussed it with the pediatrician to no avail. I know Halloween/His Birthday/Christmas are all right around the corner and it seems to be a phenomenon that this type of behavior typically occurs in conjunction with said events. I am hoping.

As parents, you just want what is best for your child and I feel EVIL and horrible when I have to punish him, spank him, force soap in his mouth, etc. But what else do you do? Some will say private school is the answer. NOW, I KNOW from personal experience that some of the worst kids come from private schools in our area. Kids there are disciplined the same way as kids in public schools. Its not like kids get to run wild in public school, so I am not really sure why people think this is the answer. Believe me, I have felt judged on more than one occasion by people close to me for the way my son acts. I have had more advice than I can handle dished out by well meaning friends. Fact is, he is MY son and I have to do what works for us. I feel as if people think I am not doing all I can to correct his behavior. Of course I am. It is simply easier to dish out advice and tell how you would do it when the child is not your own.

I know deep down that H. is a good boy. Very sensitive, almost to a fault, and loving. He is just a boy that is almost 7 who happens to be spoiled rotten. I can deal with those types of behavior problems. I just don't know how to keep it from affecting him in school. He likes his teacher and classmates and most of the kids in his class are good kids. I want him to do good and be successful in his classes and with his peers.

Anyway, I know this blog just rambles on and on and on as if I myself have "checked out". I just needed to vent. I do take small comfort in the fact that a friend of mine that has a daughter the same age as Harrison is going through some similar issues. We laughed today that kids should really come with a warning. We just weren't prepared to deal with this kind of thing that no one tells you about. Taking care of a baby is a piece of cake. Wake me up in the middle of the night, changing diapers, having someone so small totally dependent on you for EVERYTHING is suppose to be so hard. Well, I am here to tell you that JUST AIN'T SO!! The real work really doesn't being until they are old enough to have an opinion and be brave enough to voice it to you and stand up to you. Oh, you people with little ones... Just wait. Enjoy all the sleepless nights and diapers, formula, nursing, dependency, etc. Your day is coming.

Now, I must go Kiss my baby boy and tell him how much I Love Him and how blessed I am to have him in my life, good times and bad times.

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